Lucas: Day 4 = hell

Honestly I don't think I have ever wanted to break down and do something for food more than I wanted to earlier tonight.  I was definitely giving up.  The only reason I didn't eat is because Ryan, and Garrett were sitting on the couch next to me telling me I couldn't eat.  We were watching TV and I think every commercial and every scene in Family Guy had food in it or people eating.  I woke up feeling better than any day so far and I thought i was golden for the rest of the dya, but boy was i wrong, when it hit me, it hit harder than i ever thought it would.  Ryan and i went for a short bike ride to the mall and maybe that is the reason i felt soo horrible later. I also am not sure if th reason i wanted to break and eat so much was bcause i found out the car me and three other friends bought, over heated and is no longer sellable and we have to total it...This is not looking good i was banking on that money for rent when i get back to the states.  All i can think about is the meals we all ahve planned to eat together next wed. which is 6 days away...holy crap that souds so far away.  I am hurtin like crazy right now, and am just hangin on for these guys cause they have faith in me to do it, and it was my idea so how can i be the oen to back out?  I don't know what the deal is, tiem to turn this frown upside down as my buddy steve always says and start lookin at the good side,  hey only a few more days and we will be back to normal, appreciating food more than we ever have before.  I am pumped and this is definitely quite the experience and i am excited to see where it goes from here to the end and even more how it will be once we can eat again and how we are all feeling and the bond we have all had through this, even though there is alot of time we are spacing out and out of it.  We got this guys, only a few more days...   "that which doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger"